Availability

My Missus

2010-10-26T16:24:00.004+08:00

My Missus

In life. u live simple. they define mine.

2010-10-01T08:02:00.007+08:00

Sense & Sensitivity

They say for every door u close. theres tonnes that open up. Daym right!

Estrella

2010-09-23T05:11:00.009+08:00

Estrella

what i was thinkin abt u ask?

those boundaries we've been thru for the past 20 weeks or so.and it puts me at standstill like that.magic.

so do i pretend that aeroplanes in the nite skies like shootin stars?

2010-09-07T18:17:00.005+08:00

That dear Ramadhan

27 days haf whiskered thru faster than i could even blink.for every ramadhan month that came, i tend to ask myself what i really did achieve besides enduring hunger and urge. and at the end of this very sentence i cry to myself, because it is during these last few moments i haf with ramadhan that subtly touches me so deep it hurts sometimes.

she drives me insane most of the time. but i still dunnoe why id rather fight with her than make love to anyone else.

Sweet Squire

2010-08-15T03:30:00.002+08:00

Sweet Squire

i wanna take endless pictures like these

in ~~turkey~~ Korea.

Flashes

2010-08-04T23:38:00.003+08:00

Flashes..

life sometimes is so surreal like that. but id juz prefer it this way. with no one else knowin..

xoxo ucuk

2010-07-25T08:56:00.004+08:00

Your Gospel of Truth

u got all the reasons to jump at me.maybe u were right when u lectured me on being nice.and maybe.juz maybe i was wrong the whole while.

so love me when im gone.

I am Sam

2010-07-24T06:23:00.005+08:00

I am Sam

and if ur readin this.i dont want you splashin cash on u-noe-what.i stayed beside u since that fateful night becoz it was assuring like that.i watched helplessly when you got reproved by ur mother on that first meet.i loved it when u said "u nie!!".i chose my tender words carefully whenever you stare at me in a different manner.i argued with ur other half coz i didnt like the way he treated/talked/looked and almost swung my kiss racing across his face when he bellowed and raised his arms on u.and above all, i neglected another sumone.and im not cheatin.i juz didnt tell coz i know she'd be infuriated.and i dun like her gettin mad at me like that.id prefer her blowing bubbles u see.and with that.i draw my line here.coz there is only so much i can do for u. and for all that ive done.im not askin much.not evn a thank you.juz ur smile would do Ain.

2010-07-14T16:31:00.003+08:00

Ambrosia.

..there are many bonds other than friendship.

bonds that we dont understand..that we dont need to.

bonds that are otherwise nameless..that are juz to be experienced.

bonds that have no boundaries.no limits.

bonds that bind..

Halfway

2010-07-12T22:08:00.004+08:00

Halfway

my 10-men holland fell valiantly to a bunch of diving cheats. the world spins the other way around sumtimes.tsk.

my kay-elle trip the other day wasnt all that bad. i missed touring sights with my family i must say. X)

but whenever im next to her, i dun really noe what happens to me.but she's slightly mad.actually.she's completely mad :)

urs only

2010-07-02T11:05:00.002+08:00

yours only

being nice wasnt suppose to be a mistake. bleargh. there are just some things we dont talk about.

together all the while.

2010-06-28T09:35:00.006+08:00

..xoxo..

poetic aces.

2010-06-21T03:43:00.005+08:00

Poetic Aces.

of close tank encounters. of my 2 hippy frens (fudz not included). of 2 enlightened hearts, 1 soul. of her crazy hindi singin and sheepish acts. topnotch neat i must say ^^

xoxo

Degedukgeduk

2010-06-19T05:19:00.005+08:00

Degedukgeduk

her smelly face and silly antiques makes me twinkle2. tsk.

ILY.nope she's not leaving me. pfft.

2010-06-17T23:57:00.001+08:00

so what about today?

its been soft and tender. and i fancy it that way. i cant give u the world. but id like to try to. :)

from all the things that we are, but are not saying

kuchi kuchi meow meow

2010-06-13T05:07:00.004+08:00

No kissing on that pimple!

for a saturday.super bland. disgusting. -.-" anyway. chapati and murtabak whilst watching overrated England held to a draw by the US of A is awethum. now i really hafta thank u and ur awethum family tree for the ding dang supper on my own. ur so warm like that. and yes. i smell nice. :)

so where are we?

Run gilera. Run

2010-06-10T23:45:00.003+08:00

Run Gilera.Run.

after u start that run. u musnt let that next obstacle obstruct ur route . if all else fails, go thru it.

ur gilly can only go 120-130 tops. if u wanna go higher.get a bigger bike. and i dont wanna do that. ass.

2010-06-09T01:16:00.002+08:00

Ass-phalt

the week has been tumble2. eM has her story. a veri good pal of mine had his. and ive been trying to find time to spare for every soul i noe to cherish with. i see this world as it is. the misery would only go away if u think happy thoughts. then u'd fly =D

they were askin when i would get a soulmate for myself. i told them the night is still young. and then they told me one day they'd burn Cinta. mothafuckas -.- u'll die tryin goodfellas.

that day i walked that marina embankment on my own and watched kite-runners. i caught the sunset and felt ur embrace. i noe ur watchin. coz ur munky like that. God noes how much i wouldve loved u bb. :)

u dun haf her eyes and u dun certainly talk like her.so never compare. but i still love u like that..*pouts*

that holy matrimony

2010-06-06T05:08:00.003+08:00

maybe baby

for everytime i find myself in that same spot. i choose to ignore. and then follow through motion like its sum kind of movie put on repeat. but then agn i realise, that theres always some part of that photoplay that i missed. and that i find a whole gd meaning to it. :)

i never reckoned us to sail this far. it always hit me the boat we're in would sink one day. its just a matter of time. and then i see the rest whos ahead of us.then i start thinkin, maybe i would want to be where they are that instance. and then my arms start to paddle without even thinking. that is really awethum i think. tsk.

ur silly when ur high like that bb. that day this ogre saved ur ass. and he'd never forget those words u say when u sat dwn the flight of steps and held on to his shirt.true that X)

tanak fiona -.-

Here's ur badge

2010-05-29T20:18:00.002+08:00

Here's Your Badge.

that moment, everyone went numb. Our fren at work passed away on his way home. my words dont' really cut what i feel rite now. its like u get twisted inside and then u start wonderin whos next. (my prayers be with you brother. Al-fateha)

and to eM. thanks.thanks for droppin by.and thanks agn for hotcakes. u look wonderful in red. No. not because im a horny bastard u ass. .

Cinta is gettin used to ur presence.one day.maybe one day u can ride wimme. maybe only i say *biggrin*

Let me go home..

2010-05-25T03:35:00.002+08:00

Let me go home.

my very good pal is in his final week at work. afterwhich he's leaving for school. what a bitch.

and u, crying isnt a sin. so id let u cry all u want. but for everytime u tell me ud slit ur wrist and hang urself by a thread, i will bitch slap u back to reality. that isnt funny. coz i dun want u to die as yet. so, dun die.

no one is eveready. the world is round so ud never noe what's bound to happen at the other corner. u make urself sound more like battery like that. ass.

tak sayang? oh hell, i noe u do. many2. *beams*

phee phye pho phum!

2010-05-24T02:07:00.002+08:00

Phee Phy Pho Phum!

awethum dinner with her family. and u shud noe alrdy by now that ive got an allergy for crustaceans (crabs, prawns, crayfish) pfft! and u shudve let me do the dishes. its the best i could do there and then

and not forgettin, amina is lovely-adorable. and she loves me like that XD

this nite.this nite made me day.

frolic

2010-05-22T03:03:00.004+08:00

frolic.

in about 2 and half hours, u managed to encompass about 70 percent of what uve been goin thru all dawn. misha. i really think ur incredible. but i still wont let u board cinta. fcukin persistence =D

and bb. u dun do things like that. pfft. anyway, u smell like mermaid ariel :) *kiss fingers*

Quit Playin

2010-05-21T01:43:00.002+08:00

Quit Playin...

it felt darn awkward not havin u to text nor call. fag. Anyway, wherever agn u might be, be nice. and stay safe idiot.

just shout whenever and i'll be there..

Misha

2010-05-20T05:56:00.003+08:00

Misha.

the supper with the clicks are never a doodle short. tonite i was talkin to this gurl they call misha. short.bob hair. juz the way i like it. whilst the rest of the idiots were drinkin at timbre. i was scribblin notes on the jotter outside when misha suddenly popped beside and nudged me on my square top shoulders. thats when she went.. "so redzwan. tell me about u.."

and after everything, she wanted to sit behind.then i heard "dun fcukin ride like a crazy horse".then my lips uttered no.and then she told me. muthafucka. haha!

Luv is Cinta

2010-05-19T03:14:00.002+08:00

Luv is Cinta (juz like in the movies..)

After yesternite. i swear to God i would never to anything to hurt Cinta. i am fcukin lucky she still loves me *biggrin*

if milk is what u love. then milk it is ^^

Written all over your face..

2010-05-17T01:10:00.003+08:00

Written all over your face

now that lighthouse is awethum.still. and if i hadta choose again, id still stay with her. so pardon me like that.

i dun need to puke words to see u were alrdy mad at me.ur eyes were alrdy flickerin like a madhatter.but i cannot stand at still and choose sides bb.i never did.never will.scream all u want, pout, frown, curse me for all i care.i will still go back to ur fcukin matrep hometwn at the end of the day.and wait for u all day.

yes.im an asshole like that. a yummy-lookin one.

i nak u boleh? XD juz gimme 20 mins tops, love. not a crazy horse. juz ur fanatic gilly rider when with Cinta.

2010-05-14T04:33:00.004+08:00

King of the Hill.

today. today when the clock hits 1345 sharp, i'd be slappin that counter and gilera-ing up to lim chu kang to visit elfy. yesternite, i doodled on the couch thinking of events to pen on her jotter note book like i always have. and it hit me, that maybe. maybe tonight, i just might have none anymore to.

elfy, a gd fren of urs reminded me that ur no longer there. and if i keep chasing stars, i might not be able to find out about the world on the other side. now that, that busted a hole in my beating heart. that is hard to comeby.

that truth is fcukin difficult to swallow actually..

"one day when im not by ur side anymore. there would be another to take my place. now when that day comes. i want you to be nice."

u fcukin fine-lined this.

Tadaa

2010-05-12T02:30:00.005+08:00

Tadaaa!

about 75 percent of the clicks i noe of is quittin their everyday job. me? i dun haf a definite answer on work rite now. i fool ard alot. but the main thing is, at the end of every shift i get the fcukin job done XD. even at times it can really be a female dog -.-"

anyway, her lesbian friend id like to call her, just bawled a gazillion questions. not which i dun comprehend. in which, i dun intend to answer. not yet. :) i choose not to.

one deed doesnt tell all miss. im still soul searchin. its a gd process. even better with "cinta". XD

and that bb. thats hensem for u *biggrin* now dun die alrdy =D

perhaps.

2010-05-05T14:49:00.003+08:00

sneaky surmise.

im always dumbfounded when it comes to the other party's family affairs. but for God noes what reason, i find myself high on ecstacy in them. and that is a good thing i suppose *shrugs* but siti nur aminah, or however u spell her, is inaudibly adorable. kids and me. we have a string of good histories. XD

and did i mention that nite was awethum bb. fcukin awethum if not for your ngingi ngehngeh thruout our entire ride home.

perhaps. :)

Sustenance

2010-05-03T00:49:00.002+08:00

Sustenance in a sentence..

Its the last night for this first reservist. chelsea's victory over kop made it evn sweeter. the thought of workin at 0530 on the tues.ugh

2010-05-02T01:22:00.003+08:00

monday will come..

these people that holds that same burden i do have gone thru their shitholes. and they were telling me there will always be newer shitholes that will splat them in their face if we're not too careful XD the trio ive spent my last 7 days here with have been uber companions. the oldest is a teacher and at the same time, a member of The Great Spy Experiment. another is an scdf "retiree". and the last ones an air traffic fcukin controller. talk about a great combo. phhheeww! XD

and bb. tak sayang sudah! *biggrin*

Transparent

2010-04-28T23:46:00.002+08:00

Transparent..

we meet alot of people everyday. but u can get hold on a handful bunch coz u only have a pair of hands. when ur in my shoes rite now, u'd be dealing with a platoon of misfits or so u mite call them. and when in my shoes, it takes a hell lot of tolerance with that substantial amount of time to really noe them to judge them. maybe, this is what that fcukin I-SERVE-MY-COUNTRY-WITH-MY-LIFE stigma have taught me. erk!

she said fcuk. now that is hot. XD

Trinity

2010-04-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

Trinity.

today i hadta report to 2nd Div Hq @ Tampines coz im schedued for make-up ICT. for starters, i would like to find out who came up with ICT and kill that muthafucka.period -.-"

that 1st step into the dorm immediately made me travel back to 15 march 07. i remembered u ezza of all people. That time when the parents were too mad at me to send me to tekong, i remembered u were that being with the halo. U trudged dwn with me to pasir ris, tekong, and also jalan bahar. that was holy. seriously.

but on a positive note, i dont spend. i dont go out. i dont hafta brawl with work schedules back at TSG. basically, without the stay-in part, this reservist thing would be heaven. 1 day down, another 7 to go. pfft!

i haf been talking alot to miss ray. another life saver perhaps? *choo face*

I Remember

2010-04-13T20:31:00.003+08:00

I Remember..

that day before i head to work. i gilera-ed my way to jalan bahar/lim chu kang burial grounds to re-visit elfy. it has been quite a while since the last time i stopped by to say hi. and in the event, when i trudged my heavy feet, it boggled to me that i havent moved a wee bit from where i was.

i still muse over u. it was like we were still.. hand in hand.

i still break into a million tears at the site of ur tomb. still think that by u leaving like this whether it brings about more positivity than negativity. i talk to myself alot bb. like how u used to juz place a listening ear and then whine at me and slap my forehead (that which i really hate) after that.

ur not dead yet i tell myself. fag.

the things that dont come back.

2010-03-13T03:54:00.009+08:00

Pitchy i'd like to call it

4 things we cant recover. bleargh

The world might seem too cruel a place to be in. but its in this exact same world that gives my fcukin life a whole good meaning :) and it stays as that.

2010-03-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

HIS-story.

I din expect a call frm you especially. but it didnt take me long enuff to say "sure" :) . u were right, angel. no one would take another 6 years to come back. we ended up trudging on a long queue to haf a memento at sakae. and we acted like nothing ever happened. not that i forlorn over the matter. juz that i felt darn gd to be a life-saver agn.

rule no 1.
Dun slit ur wrist. remember. however suicidal things might turn into. its just not worth killin urself juz because u feel like the whole world isnt on ur side. *stares* i mean it.

Take Flight.

2010-01-14T18:15:00.004+08:00

Take flight..

i am seriously ur fcukin bras basah in-charge. :)
that friendly neighbourhood station manager at ur door step.

someone asked me if i miss you, i never answered and juz walked away. i closed my eyes and just whispered..so fcukin much!

that '10

2010-01-03T11:41:00.005+08:00

That '10

oh well hello 2010. wishin everyone the best in their endeavours in whatever form they come in. fcuk.

only when death comes upon you, will u know the value of life

- John Kramer

In the End..

2009-12-31T17:40:00.002+08:00

In The End

i still mull over elfy on certain fortnights. the mother passed me her jotter notebook whilst i was watchin teletubbies with elmyrah (her 4 year old younger sister). on one of those random days she wrote,

"here's to all the girls that used to be his number one. The ones that waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and get disappointed. The ones that made it thru' that bitter break-up, dried ur own tears and moved on with ur own life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened.

Those of u who cried on the first day u talked again because u knew exactly where this phonecall was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be ur friend" one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves and misses u. We deserve something and this is our tribute.

Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we're stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents and even snucked around to see him for a while. We went thru the great stage without fighting all over again. We started out thinking that we would be just friends and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreamin. This is for us.

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waitin for a phonecall that might come in a few hours, or a few days.Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to settle for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's to the ones who did their hair and makeup and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because the couldn't bear to look back at their lives one day and wonder "what if".

This is for the girls who stayed up all night long listening to him whine about his ex-girlfriend who cheated on him and cried during the entire convo. The ones who hope he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved u, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones who held on to that something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who sumhow managed to get him to forget about her, and got him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later "that things were going too fast, he needs time". Here's to the girls who couldnt cry to their friends because of of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all when things came crumbling to pieces again.

This is for those who couldn't bear to tell their mom what was going on, for the fear of an "I told u so". The ones that could juz tell that they had made a mistake by ever allowing him into their hearts and dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got a chance, one that would really care about us. We juz wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that finally realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke ur heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here are for the girls that realized that we deserve better.

This is for those confusing days, when u miss him and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around ur waist. Stay strong and remember that relationships are like broken pieces of glass; sometimes its better to leave it alone than to try top put it back together only to get hurt.

Remember the times u cried and how long it took u to even able to look at another guy like that. When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes, what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to ur house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and stayin up all night wondering where the hell he was. Think of how used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night and how it fell to your stomach when u saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.

One day you'll find a guy, whos worth all the tears, but he won't make u cry. You may think that u'll never care about sumone like u did that guy u always ran back to, but u will. It's going to hurt like hell and its going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for thos girls who fell back in love with their ex, only to get hurt all over again.

so Muhd Redzwan uve told me stories that made me realize ur that A-hole in this story, but despite everything i wrote, my heart still skips a beat when when i see u frm afar, get butterflies in my tummy the first time u held my hand after telling me u could make out the next guy im gonna date thru palm reading, feel that jive and goosebumps when u text me "sure, why not" even after workin roundaclock and i insisted on havin supper.

fcuk u for ill-treatin ur ex-girlfriend like that. but then agn, i had always wanted to tell u i loved u.

p.s. Yes, Muhd Redzwan, I love u."

and i finally realize dear God, at that moment, fcuk myself.

Fallen Angel

2009-12-16T05:37:00.001+08:00

Fallen Angel

if u can hear my words,

u were suppose to turn 24 this 24th. it obliterated me when u went away without sayin gdbye. why izzit that i am always too late. elfy adilah kasman, ur presence still lingers, and i miss u like a madhatter as i type this. ur last moments with me is all i have left to ponder on. =.)

u always tell me not to emote. this time, i cant help it.

wake up already sleeping beauty.

2009-12-08T05:31:00.004+08:00

i woke up with about 23 missed calls from ur mom. she told me to rush dwn quickly. only for me to find u like that. i held ur hand only to find no beat. i need u to come back. to look at me at least.. coz u promised to bring me sightseeing.

this was the last thing u texted me. u promised we'd meet at cranberry street.

i'll call her. i'll tell her how much it kills me to not see her for one bit. juz so u'd wake up. pls.

feeling alright

2009-11-11T17:31:00.006+08:00

Sypathizing and Realizin'.

she faces the typical girl problem of havin an ideal man in her life. Its a fight to stay with him, which is not easy at all. Then she has her best friend, standing right there, who is the perfect option. Its comfortable and easy, but she needs fire from Edward instead of the lukewarm comfort she ges frm Jacob. Its simply masochistic

- Bella Swan

Feelin good, we're feelin alright.

Hell-ee-Pad.

2009-11-06T03:47:00.003+08:00

Helipad

we were at helipad on one of my O.R's this week. it was just another one of our random ideas. she and i. we sat there. and juz stared at each other. i realized today elfy, no one has ur eyes. and then u sand King's of Leon's Use somebody and made me realize. u are juz another Yuna wannabe XD.

and in ur Colt plus. u shuffled Aizat's Lagu Kita. and put it on repeat. mongrel.

p.s. the gurl noes i hate that song.

-someday i'll kiss u. someday. not today. :)

stop and stare

2009-09-28T05:07:00.002+08:00

stop and stare

race day: i was alongside raffles place.workin till the wee hours of the morning.since the supercharged mach 5s rumbled the well lit city with the heli whirling above, til the town became so silent u cud hear a pin drop.and in the midst of everything, i simply stopped and stared.and was happy. tired. but still happy

elfy raced me back home. sultry :)

"i will do this everyday if i hafta until u find urslf a good-enuff-i-approve gurlfren"

-thats elfy adilah my frens.

idulfitr.

2009-09-23T04:09:00.007+08:00

Idulfitr'

we got our fair share of the festivity. we got thru it; the whole 5 of us. dad is still at the back of our minds..

nina was the perk of my span on this festive nite. i can never leave any bit of love for this niece of mine. she gave me a very good squeeze and a skintight peck on my cheek juz before we head for home.

"nina ssaaaayyyyyaaannnnggg abg!!!"

-sabrina zainal

she sounds like sumone i know. daym adorable.

this is my cheena mother. with her champions.

On Eid's night.

2009-09-20T05:28:00.000+08:00

On Eid's night

Whilst everyone is so vamped about the day that lies ahead. here i am twittering at at Singapore's general hospital waiting what fate lies for my dad whos lying famished on his icu bed. the sight of him with too many conduits or straws, u may call it, made me realised that my old-man is wrinkled; his face like a creased paper, his frail limbs not being able to move a muscle as mother helps him proper his comforter as tears trickles dwn her cheeks i caught a glimpse.

its about 3am in the morning..and we're praying for the best for Our dad.

Oh Allah, we love you and we need you.please come into our hearts and hear our pleas. Please save dad.Amin

holy!!!!!

2009-09-11T22:40:00.006+08:00

Holy!!!!

i havent been able to find enuff space on the clock to jot dwn my everydays. but rather, i haf been in great shape nonetheless. goodness gracious =D

-i wear mine everyday to remind myself that im taken.

not literally daymmit! XD

oh and Redzwan loves u exgirlfriend.

the damn-ed..

2009-07-20T06:47:00.002+08:00

the damn-ed

i love mondays. =)

the ones that love us never really leave us. And you can always find them in here. [puts his hand to Harry's heart]

-Sirius Black

Representing

2009-07-18T01:17:00.007+08:00

Representing.

(this pic was snapped by fuzza coz she thinks i look like her other-half.we own the same trucker u see) yeah i noe. mat. gerek ape?! XD

this is my demeanor.sometimes.oh blubber!

so give me reason to prove me wrong.to wash this memory clean
-New Divide

Phantasm

2009-07-14T21:55:00.013+08:00

Phantasmagorical

the word above mentioned is the only word that came to mind after watching the the 40-part epic series of Red Thread. the fillers that came along with it was a lil wee bit peachy but i must say it has been a very delicious episode that savvied my taste buds with concerns to characters that potray 2 very different species. ok to cut the story short, channel 5 won my vote for this stage show or sort.

Kong Wah, philanthropist with a bleeding heart.smart, unscrupulous, deceptive.his speech is distasteful yet gives u the jitters.swee. patrick teoh displayed the perfect depiction that left me awe-ed. ^^

and that is me.n my old-boi network.snapped behind the viewfinder.not lookin.

"when u feel like giving up, remember why u held on for so long in the first place"

-elfy adeelah. (finally i got her "elfy" spelled in the correct manner.ugh.)

oh and did i mention, elfy is sumone else's.nt mine to begin with.so everyone just stop.

Tip.To-ed

2009-07-12T02:30:00.003+08:00

Tip.To-ed

starry strarry nites at haji lane is awfully humid. the previous weeks haf been spent solely roving on my own at 80-90km/hr on the runner.no pillions.which makes it even better.

im not asking for anyone to be with me. i haf too many memories to format at the moment, which i dun feel like doing so. =)

2009-07-01T01:22:00.002+08:00

Tour de Force

people say i look fine when all i see in fronta the mirror is blubber.ugh >.<

im writing this because i feel like it.

i am not sorry for not fulfilling everyones check list.and that includes yours. remove what i texted you in the 1st place coz fuck it alrdy. stop livin in ur own dimensional/twillight/polished/foolproof world. ur supposed intimidating figure is repulsive. this is not an offering of remorse.

tadaa. =)

elfi showed me today how much was the amt of bonus she received -.-" and then after that i showed her how to do a one-bounce-two-turn on the jump rope. afterwhich she ran up, bunny-hugged me and sumhow managed to graze a quick peck on the my lip. nw my lips taste of pomegranate lip balm. bleargh!

to tell you the truth, im not ready for any of this. beats me.

Monday mornings

2009-06-29T07:02:00.002+08:00

Monday Mornings

People dread mondays(at the stroke of 12 on the previous sunday nite).
i dun. i wake up every monday morning, look at the passport sized photograph in the wallet, and happen to look at it agn when i reach for my workpass(ez-link card) coz i happen to haf another pegged in the plastic shell with it.

and mondays are beautiful agn.

ok i hafta to go to work alrdy. lolz.

Flip Flap

2009-06-27T12:14:00.002+08:00

Flip Flap

yesterday nite's soccer attendance at safra tamp was goober! it was an episode of infuriated slides and tackles, a great show of flip flaps and juggles, zipping passes, sensational finishes(which included my half-court volley). last nite i felt great. like i could run agn. like when i turned at the spectators, .... she was there. =)

1's a company
2's a crowd
3's a party

Honestly, im not interested.

2009-06-25T23:43:00.002+08:00

Life is like vintage. Daym authentic.

i cracked my pea brain today and struggled thru the exam this morning.erk! =)
it felt gd that way.

i had a great skipping regime dwn the void deck (i make it a point to workout everyday now). i am pleased with the regimentation i set for myself. *big grinz*.

and elfi adeelah drove all the way east bound just to give me a gd comforting/assuring hug (when i was all sweaty.ugh)

honestly redzwan, u smell nice when ur soaked in sweat -.-"

on parole

2009-06-25T01:13:00.002+08:00

On Parole..

today i didnt feel like waking up.the weather made me snug like a baby(thank you God!). today i dragged myself to work in slippers(with my shoes in the new sling i got just yesterday). today i found myself staring at the briyani during lunch. today i was harassed by numerous vindictive, unrelentless thoughts. today redzwan walked instead of...run.

Got some words on cardboard
Got your picture in my hand
Saying "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"

-The Man Who Cant be Moved

Lost in Transition..

2009-06-24T00:26:00.010+08:00

Lost in Translation..

the exams this morning was exceptionally straightforward. not bragging. but i was the last one to start. the 1st one to grab a viceroy-super-menthol-light break. =)

i headed to town without a direction and ended up at borders reading a book entitled Lost in Translation. its a 2003 movie production. and the only thing that i left the place with was mulling over "Everyone wants to be found.."

i had sake sushi.i trudged down to city hall. i took a walk pass the cenotaph and stopped momentarily and smiled to myself(for God noes why). i washed my face at fullerton's toilet which never fails to give me such serenity.all this on my own. i finally caught up with elfi adeelah and her friends after she pestered with 1001 calls asking me why (why am i alone at town? why did i not answer/ reply her calls? yada yada). ugh.

Redzwan: and so im here. so what now?
Elfi Adeelah: (telling her friends) chao girls!
(tells Redzwan) Ok, Lets go!
Redzwan: Err.. where to agn??
Elfi Adeelah: U noe where, tell me the directions, i'll drive u there. come.

we drove up to the cheers at lakeside mrt. we wandered to the water catchment area. and she drove me home.

Elfi Adeelah: Dun worry Redzwan. it took her 3 and a half years, i dun think she would wait for another 6 years. ok bye.

Home is where you keep thinking about the person..
-Uzumaki Naruto

By Wan's self.

2009-06-22T00:34:00.004+08:00

and Thats Me, Myself n I

the cycle today was tremendous. these kinda hot sundays gives me enuff sustainance and assurance for me to cycle. and by golly, a 4 hr session on a 2-wheeler is tremendous.

..wish u were here.

oh and ive watched too many fights nowadays convincing enuff to take up a similar sport agn. prolly spells MMA/BJJ.

Thwart

2009-06-21T02:07:00.008+08:00

and so i hafta take it 1 breath at a time(with the help of my 'blue whistle' if i have to). the hullabaloo of having to spend ur nights to just "nyeh-nyeh" with ur ol' pals/ new pals that incites u to think that the world is getting smaller indeed..sweee.

sigh-feeq mentioned about 'the 3 musketeers'- a pact made by the trio forged-longtime. made me haf this gusto feeling like when u get choke-hold, u try to gasp for air but yet makes u fly.

well i would fall asleep, only in hopes of dreaming

that everything, would be like it was before

-Blind

that gurl jogged my memory fer a while when she mentioned "whaaaatt!!..what thing?!"

tsk.

2009-06-20T10:06:00.003+08:00

luscious buffets make u phat.

i shared an ipod with a stranger who listens to zee avi. i dunnoe why i juz had to.

she says im not suppose to talk to strangers.bleargh!

Respirating

2009-06-18T19:23:00.005+08:00

Resperating..

i hafta thank the missus last nite for saving my life. i did not finish my 8 click jog last nite. i didn't cross the finish line. i didn't achieve that sense of accomplishment. i had to take medication. ugh.

dinner last nite at that particular buffet was dope(as in daym uber!). Elfi Adeelah is Wonderwoman.

Elfi Adeelah: So are we there yet?
Redzwan: Not even close
Elfi Adeelah: But why? Is sumone else in my way??! *giggles*
Redzwan: *silence*

silence can mean alot of things. like one where u wouldnt noe how to answer even to yourself..

I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen
She left before I had the chance to say
Ooh..The words that would mend the things that were broken
But now it's far too late, she's gone away.

- Won't Go Home Without You

Avertion.

2009-06-16T20:16:00.002+08:00

Avertion

i am but ricochet; a bounce back, a kickstart everyone needs to go thru on bad monday morning, a recuperation of sort that gives sumone that sense of vivacity.

there haf been lotsa speculations bout this parallel kinship i'd been having with christine. so stop it there already. these kinda hypothesis that doesnt add up makes no sense. if we haf to :-

u haf my home hotline. 6 years from now, u can give that number a call. My mom would pick up and she will direct u to my new house. My beautiful wife would pick up the phone and i'll tell u how's life been by then.

i am going out on a dinner date with a certain sumone tmw. i dont need the rest of the world to ruin it.

doing the right thing is always doing the difficult ones. cliche.

footnote.

2009-06-07T06:51:00.000+08:00

Footnote..

"ur not a phase. she was, and so was the rest of them"

i dreamt i uttered this very few words so i decided to jot it down.

so what are we? a beautiful evening

If you're kind enough to share..

2009-06-06T10:35:00.000+08:00

If you're kind enough to share..

ur words dun move me. so when will this end? what i uncovered about myself when i walked that isle with u 3 and 1/2 years ago,

i threw a boomerang and looked elsewhere.

beats me.

of high end glitz and glamour..

2009-05-31T23:53:00.014+08:00

Of High End Glitz and Glamour..

i suppose we all get our fair share of busy times and endless nights. mine was filled with day and day after of nouveau riche parties. the upper crust with their balloons and whine sharing, the well-to-dos having their witty hee haws. but no matter how late work ends at, at the end of the day, what fills ur mind isnt about how much my limb twinges, or about how unsightly my uniform can get..its when the clock strikes 12 and ur phone rings.

Maybe you are what i never knew i always had
-Fools Rush In

i got to get upfront with phua chu kang, had lunch and smoke a 50mm with Glenn Ong, went in line with the stars from the Little Nyonya and we protected SuperBand from harm. all in the name of work. ditto.

my brother turns 18 today. and the first thing i said to him was, "now u can buy ur own cigarette" =)
he's not just a brother to me, he is also the same ninja, that same platoon. and it still startles me.

Your highness..

2009-05-24T13:28:00.008+08:00

Your Highness

sibei walaowei late. bad habit to kick. period.

surfing the trays along the conveyor at wheelock made me look daym awe-strucked. i was spoiled. aiyer.

u, ur highness, makes me haf whirly-whirlies in my tummy. and that makes me feel im flying on cloud nine. and i finally get it about not having to be afraid of what u mean to me. then prolly now, i can tell the world that u are my display pendant, and i am ur artist.

so lemme draw u, beautiful

tuesday lovestory

2009-05-20T01:02:00.006+08:00

Tuesday-Lovestory

note: i still think jujube looks like vanida imran.period.

u can be a size 28.
u mite not be able to fit into free-sized garments.
u would walk like a schoolgirl in a spacesuit and klutz over the steps for not looking.

at my age, i would never expect to be where i am today..

a few years ago

tonite wasn't awkward, it felt.. right.

Tryouts..

2009-05-19T03:01:00.006+08:00

Tryouts

assessments can be exhausting. when it comes to an average of 2 papers a day, its 10 for a week, plus, ongoing lessons thereafter. what i need now is for that bloody wkend to come soon.i feel it comin' already :) so smiles shud be of abundance.

Pain is good. coz it reminds u you're still Alive.

when losing is just another success prodigy

2009-05-14T22:07:00.006+08:00

When losing is just another Success prodigy

this was what i did IMMEDIATELY after the all-important Signals exam.

oh wait, and did i mentioned i went away during the exam thrice for ground-breaking Viceroy menthol light breaks? superb. =)

all-important buddy : (whispers) Wan, where the fuck u go?

keith : yellow box lah bro =)

all-important buddy : *jaw drops*

and if u ever mention about this whole i-dunnoe-what-to-do-if-i-dun-get-to-Uni thing agn, i will bitch slap u over and over agn and make sure u wake up already from ur bad dream. I am still here hunnie, and i still haf many things to accomplish with u. steady?

Trudging Down that Little Isle

2009-05-13T21:47:00.008+08:00

Those That Cant be Helped..

walking day in and day out to and fro KCD has been sublime . even when we've divided into the littlest classes, we would make time for simple things like passing the sweets around, having that together-banquet, or even snap each other behind the viewfinder when we're not lookin. the perks of having to undergo this trainee-thang beats dreading monday blues.

we cheered our lives at least once a week like it was our last. she says maybe its because we went thru the same old idea. maybe its just because we're carefree and we dun expect anything in return. just us and genuine good comfort. but maybe..just maybe.. its that same sense that dwells in our thoughts when our eyes meet and the awkward silence that comes with it.

If silence means consent, then will u marry me? 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..

Of What its Worth..

2009-04-27T20:25:00.004+08:00

Reel like a Roll of Gazettes..

the days spent were simply stupendous. i haf been a major-pain-in-ur-a*s but i quite like it that way. sumtimes it feels so gd to just sit dwn and watch people walk past us. or even think about how you'd float in the river. sumtimes it still sends chills dwn the spine everytime u say Lets Gmax!. sumtimes it juz feels so surreal that at the end of the day, tableus of u flick me like a motion picture.

and work has been goober. coz the new bunch of sidekicks are never a monday short of laughs and gd snorts. imagine me, mr-maniacal-station-manager at a stop near u. ticks doesnt it ;)

ur standing there alone. and so am i